By way of Sports Grid comes the latest in Fans Going Woo technology — a Godless machine captioned by the New York Islanders that can fire 12 t-shirts into the crowd in five seconds. Check out those fans at the bottom of the picture … that’s exactly how you should react to a t-shirt gatling gun.
Now, you may be saying to yourself, “I could hold 12 t-shirts in my arms and just toss them into the crowd at once, taking less than five seconds and not requiring any semi-automatic technology”, and to that I say COMMUNIST, GET HIM and tackle you. Apparently t-shirt gatling guns aren’t anything new, as the first comment on Sports Grid explains that the Jacksonville Jaguars have been using one of these for a few years, so maybe the Islanders haven’t commandeered the first t-shirt machine gun, just the first one to ever be fired at fans.
All we need now is for someone in the Insert Sports Team Here Fun Bunch to create a t-shirt shotgun than can fire a fine spray of extra small shirts and my desire for pro hockey to be a first person shooter will be complete.
[h/t to Sportress]