04.09.07 10 years ago 7 Comments

Former Michael Jordan championship cog Luc Longley was woken by an explosion before escaping from his burning home.  The $2 million house was destroyed, but the good news is that Longley was able to rush his family to safety.  Even more importantly, the most precious of his sports memorabilia was saved:

The fire destroyed sporting memorabilia dating back to his days with the Chicago Bulls as well as an extensive art collection, including paintings by Australian artists George Haynes and Sam Abercromby.

But as he sifted through the wreckage it emerged the three championship rings he won with the Bulls in the 1990s were intact.

Phew!  Ordinarily this is where I'd make up a story about how I saved a sexy girl's life by putting out a fire while stark naked, except in this case it's actually true.  Readers, I can never say this enough: if you and a lady friend drink a lot one night and make things extra-romantic with candles, definitely DO leave those candles burning at the edge of the bed where they can easily set the comforter on fire.  That way, when you wake up and put the flames out you can have adrenaline-fueled sex — assuming there isn't too much carbon monoxide in the room.  It's the ideal time and place for a "smoky tornado."

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