On September 20, the patrons of Charlotte, N.C.’s nightlife establishments were treated to a bizarre appearance from whom they assumed was Homer the Dragon, mascot of Charlotte’s minor league baseball team. Little did they know that the man behind the mascot head was simply a dude having one hell of a night.
The story starts where every great adventure starts: beer. Joe Gillespie attended the Charlotte Beerfest at BB&T Ballpark with a friend to celebrate the greatest beverage known to man. He went to the upper portion of the stadium to get food after slamming a few brews, but never returned to his friend, instead passing out somewhere in the stadium. When he awoke, it was past midnight and he was all alone. Apparently, ballpark security isn’t too tight during a festival of beer. Gillespie happened upon the Homer mascot suit and had the brilliant idea to wear it out on the town for the evening. He told his story to Creative Loafing:
So, I suited right up, walked out the door and proceeded to Hooters. I walked right up into Hooters and my buddy didn’t even know it was me. I was ragin’ dude.
I left Hooters and there was a big line at Tilt next door. I just said, “Yo man, can I go in?” The guy said, “No,” and I was like, “Dude, You’re not gonna let Homer the fuckin’ mascot into your bar right now?” Then he said I could go in. There was nobody on the dance floor. I come sliding in and start getting it. I was doing all the moves you always wanted to try but are too embarrassed to.
Although the ballpark didn’t lock the mascot costume closet, they still frown upon taking the costume for a joyride around town. The morning after his extravagant night, Gillespie received a visit from the local police department:
There was four of them and three of them were cool. One dude was a nerd, he was trying to be Mr. Officer. The other two guys — one didn’t say much he just stood at the door, but the tall guy said, “Man, I don’t even know how this is real right now.”
The female officer who arrested me said she thought it was a fake call when she was dispatched until she stepped on the porch and looked in the window and there was Homer’s head sitting on the couch.
Gillespie committed the crime in the most thoughtful way possible: He took a two-way radio in addition to the mascot costume just in case anyone from the ballpark called about the stadium. But his good intentions don’t matter in a court of law. Gillespie has been charged with two felony accounts of breaking-and-entering and larceny.
The moral of the story: never let your friend wander away on their own during beerfest.
(Via Creative Loafing)
