As Drake University’s 104th Drake Relays took place over the weekend, the most important part of the entire mess of whatever it is those people are doing didn’t take place until yesterday. That was when a 4-year old English Bulldog named Huckleberry was crowned this year’s Beautiful Bulldog, marking the end to the 34th year of this mascot competition. Why it took Drake 70 years to think of adding a bulldog beauty contest to the Drake Relays is neither here nor there, but I trust that it will be handled in time by the United States Congress and the people responsible – dead or alive – will be punished for their laziness accordingly.
So what about Huckleberry? Who’s a good widdle champion?
Huckleberry competed for the title in 2010, only to walk away empty-pawed. That changed this year, when he strutted down a blue runway at Drake University in Des Moines dressed in a beige suit as the main character from the movie “Forrest Gump.”
“He’s just a lover,” said his owner, Stephanie Hein, as Huckleberry sat next to his miniature basketball toy and a suitcase similar to one owned by Forrest Gump. (Via Yahoo!)
Forty-six other bulldogs competed for the title of Beautiful Bulldog, and I don’t ever like to push my political views on this website – I leave that for The Simpsons: Tapped Out message board – but if ever there was a time for socialism it’s now, and the people who need it most are actually bulldogs, because they are all beautiful and I would like to adopt all of the so-called losers and snuggle them. Especially if they can surf: