Metta World Peace Got His Healing Powers By Being Too Sexy For His Cat, Or Something

The question: “Metta World Peace, you had knee surgery 12 days ago. How is it possible that you’re playing in tonight’s game against the Hornets?”

The answer he gave in the Los Angeles Times:

“It’s not about how strong I am playing tomorrow night,” said World Peace. “It’s about how strong I was playing three games ago. I was ready to play.”

The doctors “were amazed at how the swelling didn’t even exist. That’s off of meniscus surgery,” he said. “You can play, but it’s the swelling that keeps you from playing. I didn’t have [any swelling] and that’s why I wanted to play right away.”

The answer he gave when somebody asked him the question to his face: “I’m too sexy for my cat.”

No, seriously.

“Well, you know, I’m just too sexy for my cat,” he said. “I’m too sexy for my cat. My cat. I’m just too sexy for my cat. If I wasn’t as sexy for my cat, I probably wouldn’t have came back. I’m so sexy, I came back. Too sexy for my cat, too sexy to wear a sleeve or a bracelet [on my knee], so I had to come back. I felt sexy, I felt like my team was working, I felt like we wanted it. We just wanted to come together collectively. Play hard, do it together. … I’m definitely too sexy for my cat, definitely, we know that. I’m also too tough to let a meniscus surgery keep me out for six weeks. I’m too sexy for the cat.” (transcript via Point Forward)

Translation: “The doctor accidentally did surgery on my brain instead of my knee.” Either that, or he’s playing the Meow game from Super Troopers but with “I’m too sexy for my cat” in place of “meow.” Either way, next time I’m feeling under the weather I’m going to try on some sexy clothes and walk around in front of my cat. You know, see if my cat starts rubbing up against my leg, or runs away in fear because I was threateningly sexy. The secret of immortality could be convincing your pets that f**king you would be too much of an ordeal, you guys.

×