When you’re the greatest of all-time (and that’s debatable by the way but I don’t want to get into it because y’all just Jordan slappies), you can pull off an Ice Bucket Nomination like this. Here’s Michael Jordan challenging the whole goddamn Dream Team—Magic, Bird, Pip, Karl Malone, Charles—hell, that means he even challenged Christian Laettner. Oh god, I can’t believe Laettner was on that team. That might be the biggest disgrace in sports history. That and Isiah not making the squad. Don’t get me started with that. Don’t you dare get me started with that.
See, now you got me all riled up. Jordan was such a snake man. A conceited, diabolical snake. A conceited, diabolical snake that was all mad because someone didn’t give him the ball during an All-Star game. Boo hoo you weiner.
Oh yeah, Jordan’s cheap and probably didn’t donate to ALS. You know he was about to and then he saw a casino and then he dropped a cool mill on the blackjack table and then, oh yeah, oops ALS. My bad. What a selfish turd.
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