08.13.07 10 years ago 15 Comments

Yesterday, Yahoo Sports "broke" the "news" that Michael Vick will soon be suspended from playing in the NFL for at least a year by der Kommissar Roger Goodell.

Umm… is it just me, or is the standard for breaking a news story unfathomably fucking low?  Pacman Jones got a year suspension for being involved in stuff that he'll never get convicted for.  Chris Henry got 8 games for some DUIs or something.  Michael Vick got a federal indictment for running a dogfighting ring.  I'm not a lawyer, but I once had sex with a chick in law school, and she said that animal cruelty for sport and gambling is worse than getting pulled over for DUI.  And she had a big rack, so I believe her.

Anyway, Yahoo Sports and the rest of the sports media better watch out, because I have news that will fucking BLOW YOUR MIND: the Super Bowl will be played in February, and millions of people are going to watch it.  Seriously: millions.  You heard it here first.

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