03.23.09 9 years ago 2 Comments

There were plenty of poor performances to choose from this week, but we’ve narrowed it down to three.

Team USA was finally eliminated from the World Basebalzzzzzzzzz after losing to Japan last night, 9-4. The loss marks the end of a wayward odyssey for an American team plagued by injuries and conflicting interests between the national team, the players, and the players’ teams. Notably terrible last night was Adam Dunn, who followed up his wild throw from first base on Wednesday with an 0-for-4 night at the plate, and even quit on fielding a line drive for good measure. He’s like the white Manny Ramirez! Except not as marketable! He’s like John Goodman, but without the nuance. Enjoy him, Washington.

In Illinois high school hoops, Coach Thorpe’s North Lawndale College Prep boys’ squad were assessed a technical foul for wearing uniforms that were deemed illegal by officials; they lost the game by one point. While everyone wants to cry about the fact that no other opponent cited the fact that the stripes on the jerseys exceeded the four-inch limit, no one seems to be too worked up about the fact that a school (and probably the coach himself) ordered uniforms that were unfit for play. And frankly, pretty damn ugly.

But Marquette’s Lazar Hayward probably had the biggest suck of all, if only because it happened on the grand stage of the NCAA tournament. With his team down by two with the ball and time running out, Hayward went under the hoop to inbound, but stepped on the baseline, turning the ball over and taking his team’s chance to win right out of their hands. And that was the unkindest suck of all.

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