Two stories dominated the NFL landscape yesterday: the be-throwbacked Eagles hanging 56 points on the Lions, and the surprising Packers improving to 3-0 by shocking the Chargers. But everyone's looking at those games with optimistic eyes; the real story, as always, is in the sucking.
While the Lions' defense gets a nod for allowing an average of two touchdowns per quarter, I'd like to put the sucklight on the gentleman on the left there. See, the Chargers know what they're doing. They fired Marty Schottenheimer because he had a reputation for solid regular seasons before playoff failure. And the Chargers front office couldn't deal with that kind of postseason heartbreak. So they brought in a guy who could really get the job done — take an exceptionally talented team, and lead them to regular season failure. Way to go, San Diego! No more heartbreaking losses in January.
Also receiving Suck-Off votes: Most people on the field in the Vikings-Chiefs game… The Rams, who really, really suck… And the Redskins' coaching staff. Whatever you guys do, don't get the ball to Santana Moss or Clinton Portis when the game is at stake.