Morning Links: Drunk, Talking About Conan

Sports

Khal Drogo Was Hammered! Also He Writes Conan Fan Fiction, Apparently – If it happens at UFC, it is technically sports! Part of me wants to see the new Conan movie, because the old comic book covers are the best, and because a good God Of War movie will probably never exist. The more reasonable side of me says “there is a different movie about a gladiator battling snakes in 3D every year, skip this one, too”. [Film Drunk]

Which NBA Legend Is Getting LeBron Ready for the 2011-2012 Season? – Is it Vlade Divac? I bet it’s Vlade Divac. Oh, it’s still just Hakeem Olajuwon. Maybe if LeBron had won the NBA Championship he could’ve unlocked some new legends. [Smoking Section]

Daniel Bryan Hypes The Hammerlock – Watch my favorite pro wrestler explain how basic pro wrestling holds, when used in real life, can rip your arm in half. I want to see a John Cena-style STF in an MMA fight, where a guy is getting his ears rubbed by the inside of Cena’s arms AND IT HURTS SO BAD. [YouTube]

With Leather

The Best Athletes and Other Stars from the 2011 Teen Choice Awards – Skip through pictures of Justin Bieber and the living Jonas Brothers to get to a big happy picture of Maryse Ouellet at the end. And now, the award for “Best Athlete” goes to … SKATEBOARDER I’VE NEVER HEARD OF, C’MON, GET UP HERE SKATEBOARDER I’VE NEVER HEARD OF [With Leather]

The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 8/8 – I’m getting some negative feedback because this week’s BAWOR is more negative than usual. Please note that while I appreciate negative feedback, Best and Worst is not the “Like Everything Every Week” review, and sometimes I’m just not gonna like the show. It’s not a big deal. [With Leather]

The Pittsburgh Steelers Are In The Dark Knight Rises – So what, the Cleveland Browns have been in the last 10 Tyler Perry movies. [With Leather]

The 80s Sitcom Daughters Guide To Fantasy Football Wide Receivers – Don’t sleep on Burnsy’s awesome fantasy football guides, which are some of the best and most useful content we’re producing. No, Punky Brewster didn’t make the list. Yes, I think that is disappointing. [With Leather]

Not Sports

When Bad Movies Happen to Good Actors – Or, “we’re going to keep wondering why Harrison Ford looks like that and acts like that and is in Cowboys & Aliens until we figure out what the hell happened”. Also, about 90% of Alan Cumming’s filmography. [FARK]

Bill Murray vs. Betty White Is Beloved Nightmare Fuel – To be honest, Betty White’s head with Bill Murray’s face just kinda looks like Bea Arthur. Argh, I miss the Golden Girls. I miss when the lady channels had Golden Girls reruns and Supermarket Sweep, and weren’t just “watch these white folks look for homes” over and over and over and over. [UPROXX]

10 Famous Fictional Characters You Didn’t Know Were Based on Real People – I knew about it because I know a lot about pro wrestling, but if you didn’t know Shrek was based on a real guy, click this link and have your mind blown. [Buzzfeed]

5 Ludicrous Jurassic Park Movie Vehicle Toys – “Dino Damage!” is one of my very favorite references. I feel like any of this stupid G.I. Joe bullsh*t would’ve made Jurassic Parks 2 and 3 better films. [Topless Robot]

15 Super Fun Futurama Tattoos – I want to get a Church of Robotology tattoo. Futurama is the best. [Gamma Squad]

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