12.23.09 8 years ago

…because we have a brand new bobsled team to lovingly mock and denigrate. John Candy would be spinning in his grave right about now if he hadn’t faked his death to elude the Russian mafia. Why? Those friggin’ South Koreans, as always.

After a fifth-place finish in the America’s Cup launched them into 15th place in the world rankings, the South Korean four-man bobsled team has qualified to participate at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver. Granted, Kang Kwang-bae, the team’s pilot, has stated that the team is in need of two additional South Koreans to fill the sled as two of the spots during competition are usually filled by Ukrainians (?).

Despite the somewhat unorthodox nature of how the South Koreans qualified, Kang is thrilled with his team’s accomplishment. Ain’t nothin’ gonna break his stride. Nobody’s gonna slow him down, oh no (oh no). You see, he’s got to keep on moving.

“I’m so proud of my team mates. It’s an honor,” said Kang.

And we are all, I’m sure, proud of Kang. Best of luck to the South Korean team in their quest to a) find two more South Koreans so they can actually compete, and b) not maim themselves in front of a global audience. Actually, scratch “b.” If I had my way, bobsled crashes would become the new trampoline basketball.

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