A few years ago, I was at my local Publix buying some pregnancy tests when I ended up sharing the elevator to the parking garage with Bo Outlaw. Another guy started a conversation with him and asked if fouls were really as bad as some players made them seem, and Outlaw said that NBA players have it worse than NFL players because they don’t get pads. I scoffed at that idea and he looked me dead in the eye and said, “You try being 7-feet tall and getting thrown to the ground while you’re jumping” and I thought to myself, “Well, I’m 5-10, chubby and I don’t jump a lot, so I’ll take your word for it, Chet.”
The point of this week’s edition of “Cool Story, Bro” is that someone named Mike B or Mike 8, depending on your comprehension of fonts, made a video called the NBA Flagrant Foul Mix, and it’s an incredibly hilarious reminder that NBA players have loved beating the sh*t out of each other for a long, long time.
It’s hard to pinpoint my favorite flagrant foul in this video, because it’s great watching Hakeem Olajuwon just slap a guy for no reason, and I love watching Lou Amundson get punched because I just can’t stand his stupid ponytail. Also, seeing Dennis Rodman’s legendary “I am so deep inside your f*cking head right now” smirk always makes me happy. Oh, and there’s the Dwyane Wade shove to Derrick Rose that entertained us all so much.
But if you put a Metta World Peace elbow to my head and told me to pick just one, I think it’s the brawl around the 3:50 mark that had me cackling with delight the most. Oh Bo Outlaw, I’m sorry I ever doubted you.