NBA Round-Up: The Knicks Are Done

Senior Writer

I’m only recapping yesterday’s games, despite the fact that Saturday’s games were great. Holy choke job, Dallas. Maybe if Mark Cuban spent less time Tweeting about Shark Tank and more time keeping an eye on his team, the Mavericks wouldn’t be coached like an all-girls AAU squad. Also, good job, Pacers. It was nice to see a few teams show some balls and stand their ground… *stares at Carmelo Anthony*. Anyway, here’s a non-biased and semi-coherent look back at Sunday’s NBA Playoffs action.

Boston Celtics 101, New York Knicks 89 (Series: 4-0 BOS)

Before we break into the Knicks jokes, I’m offering a hearty tip of my cap to Anthony Carter for making the entire city of New York think a Game 5 was coming. Too bad Chauncey Billups was injured and the Knicks have no bench, so the Celtics were pretty much sailing through their Game 4 win and series sweep. Good news: the Knicks still have Carmelo Anthony, Amar’e Stoudamire and cap space, so they’ll make some moves this offseason that will probably be good unless Isiah Thomas is involved.

As for the Celtics, Rajon Rondo tops my list of point guards and Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen still have gas in their tanks. But the rest of the team? Big concerns for a shallow roster. Then again, that won’t matter much against the Miami Heat in the second round, since their bench is even lighter. That is, if the Heat win.

(Also, this series shoved a gigantic boot in the ass of mine and anyone else’s belief that David Stern and his crew of special needs referees “massage” games to favor longer series. I mean, I still think Stern is the worst commissioner in the history of sports – Charles Barkley called him the best and I laughed ever so hard – but letting his beloved Knicks get swept doesn’t do much to provide evidence that the league is fixed. You win this round, Stern.)

Philadelphia 76ers 86, Miami Heat 82 (Series: 3-1 MIA)

The Heat will win Game 5 handily. I’m almost afraid to watch. In the meantime, Philly’s Game 4 performance to come from behind after blowing a 16-point lead and stave off a sweep was inspiring. Lou Williams and Jrue Holiday played like veterans and Evan Turner looked like his college self at times. A few times, but I won’t go overboard.

I also get such a kick out of the LeBrick and LeChoke comments. I absolutely love when he misses clutch shots, but I’d never go as far as to say that he’s a choke artist. I loathe the guy – LOATHE HIM – but I’ll still put the ball in his hands on any other team. But with the Heat, the only man on the court touching the ball with seconds left and a 2-point deficit should be Dwyane Wade. But that’s just me.

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Atlanta Hawks 88, Orlando Magic 85 (Series: 3-1 ATL)

This was probably the worst of any playoff games so far. And that’s not because I’m a jilted Magic fan. This game was just straight up awful in terms of everything. It was like watching an old man pick at a wedgie for an hour. As for the actual game, you know your team is a lost cause when Gilbert Arenas is the only guy providing support for Dwight Howard. And Hedo Turkoglu… sweet Jesus, he’s awful. I’m not saying I know where he lives, but let’s just say there’s a carton of eggs in my fridge that I’ve had my eye on.

And since I am a Magic fan and I have this forum to rant on occasion, I have a message for Stan Van Gundy: JUST SHUT UP ALREADY. Who cares if the Atlanta Hawks flop a lot when your team couldn’t hit JaMarcus Russell with a beach ball? And when people constantly call you a whiny crybaby, it doesn’t help that you are a whiny crybaby. #endrant

New Orleans Hornets 93, Los Angeles Lakers 88 (Series: 2-2)

People can talk about Chris Paul going to the Knicks or the Magic all they want, but he still actually has to leave New Orleans first, and he’s making a pretty strong case for the team’s ownership to keep him in New Orleans. Haha, just kidding, the Hornets have no owner and the league runs the team. So he’ll be gone someday. In the meantime, sit back and enjoy it, Hornets fans.

(Banner image via the great @Jose3030)

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