The exploits and surgeries of Pierre the Pelican have already been well-documented. The New Orleans Pelicans mascot is far and away the creepiest thing about the NBA this season, which is remarkable if you consider that new commissioner Adam Silver looks like a live-action version of Wallace. Seriously, if he starts bringing a big, goofy dog with him to events, I might lose my mind. But this is about the Pelicans and their very strange mascot decision-making, as they have once again unleashed the King Cake Baby upon the world.
This isn’t the first time that the King Cake Baby and the other Mardi Gras-themed mascots have appeared in public and probably the terrible dreams of small children, but they’re still new to a lot of people who aren’t focused on the Big Easy. Fortunately, the local news in New Orleans is here to help us better understand why there’s a giant man-baby horrifying innocent men and women at NBA games.
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And courtesy of WWL-TV, here are some images of the King Cake Baby from last night’s game against the Los Angeles Clippers, but if you stare at them too long, they will crawl into your brains through your eyeballs and haunt you for eternity.
The diaper being off probably makes it a million times worse than it is. That brings the grand total of creepy to 100 billion.
How nobody has added “SOON” to this picture is amazing. Are the meme-makers falling asleep at the wheels?
Somehow, the armless and legless version of the King Cake Baby is the least creepy of these images. It’s probably because he’s not staring into my soul. But don’t think you’re getting out of this without some live action terror. This mascot doesn’t even need to be moving and it’s freaking me out.