If you thought that we’d even go one day without someone creating the story that Tim Tebow wants to immediately become the New York Jets starting quarterback, then you just don’t know the New York sports media, Jack. The New York Daily News posted an article early this morning claiming that sources said that Tebow plans to be the Jets’ starter. Thank you, New York sports media, your fabricated scandals never cease to humor us.
But this could end up being a stressful venture for Tebow, as he has stated that he considers Mark Sanchez a friend, and accusations that he’s staging some sort of coup could disturb the chemistry that Tebow would be seeking to build immediately. Thankfully, New York’s finest are here to help, as the girls at Rick’s Cabaret have offered to give Tebow his presumably first lap dance ever, free of charge.
“I’m thrilled for the Jets and want to extend an extra special welcome to Tim Tebow,” said Rick’s Cabaret Girl Beverly, a busty blonde beauty. “I’ve heard that he doesn’t go to strip clubs, but I will be happy to give him his first lap dance. I promise he will like it. It would be my honor.”
Rick’s Cabaret Girl Sydney, a statuesque blonde stunner, did not think that Jets ownership made the right move. She proclaimed, “They got him just so they can sell Tebow tee shirts and Tebow merchandise. The Jets need football players not haberdashers.”
“Tebow is cute, I like him,” said Rick’s Cabaret Girl Alex, a buxom brunette. “But Mark Sanchez is sexier,” she added.
Rick’s Cabaret Girl Trina, a “double d” knockout, said, “A lot of the girls here love the Jets because they are good guys, but I’m over them. The Jets are good at getting headlines, the other New York team wins Super Bowls!” (Via Press Release)
I’ve never been to New York City, unless you count driving through it on a road trip, but for all the negative things that you hear about the city and its people, I can’t help but smile after such a feel-good story like this one.