OVECHKIN SCORED SLIDING ON HIS DONG

Somewhere in this swirling mass of humanity is Alexander Ovechkin scoring his 42nd goal of the season. Wow, my John Thomas goes through a whirlwind of sensations after watching that: chilliness, chafing, elation, and finally soreness. I think my penis needs counseling now.

I don’t understand why they don’t just pop the goalie in the face every time. It worked so well in NHL 95.

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