A man was arrested for indecent exposure (is there another kind?) in a Santa Barbara City College parking lot after a softball player saw him masturbating in his car with his shorts down. This should be good.
Paper towels, moisturizer and a “Barely Legal” pornography magazine were three pieces of the incriminating evidence police used to arrest a man for masturbating in a City College parking lot [facing the stadium] …
The suspect [not pictured] confessed to [Security Supervisor Eric] Fricke that this was his first time doing anything like this. He also told Fricke that he couldn’t do it at home because he has roommates, according to the report.
His first time masturbating? Or his first time masturbating in public? No, he probably meant it was his first time masturbating in that specific parking spot. At that time of day. With that particular brand of lotion. “Officer, this isn’t like me! I usually use ‘Black Tail’!”