Pedro Martinez is Washed Up

09.28.06 11 years ago

This should come as a surprise to precisely no one who has been awake during any part of a baseball season any time over the last three or four years, but Pedro Martinez is having trouble recovering from an injury and got rocked by the Atlanta Braves last night. Martinez gave up 7 runs in 2 2/3 innings and got pulled after the opposing pitcher clubbed an RBI double off him.

This is just depressing. Pedro was so brilliantly dominating for so long that to see him blubbering about another poor performance from his wet noodle of an arm is like watching a new porno from Jenna Jameson: it ends up being more disturbing than arousing, and you find yourself getting nostalgic for the artist's prime, before she went to lesbian scenes only, then retired, then un-retired, then went back to no-holds-barred filth.

Well, at least that's how I feel after I get done masturbating. I don't care if she's been ridden hard and put away wet, it's still fuckin' Jenna Jameson. Which is more than we can say about Pedro.

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