POWER RANKINGS: EATS SHOOTS AND LEAVES

08.14.09 8 years ago 4 Comments

Power Rankings are arbitrary and pointless. Except when we do them. Then they kick ass.

1. The burgeoning With Leather panda meme. As non sequitur as it is awesome.

2. Megan Abrigo. She likes poker. That’s a good start for anybody, really. It’s a shame that her new show isn’t faring any better.

3. Objectifying the male talent at ESPN. What better way to do that than with a Chris Mortensen/Bang Bus mashup? Peepholers need not apply.

4. Bacon. This 52-year-old woman was arrested for stealing bacon from work. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that story….

5. Stupid rich people. Nick Kroll’s Rich Dicks is worth a look. This is why I’ll never live in L.A. Well, that and because I’m morbidly obese.

6. Horrible creations of racism…now sold in bulk! Somebody needs to be fired for this.

7. Jay Glazer. Can’t help but be impressed with him vandalizing Mort’s bus.

8. Ill-conceived ad campaigns. Has to be said. Campaigns against “gay” are the gayest thing ever.

9. Pussy Galore. Jason Whitlock and I would totally be friends if I wasn’t white.

10. The penmanship of Chad Pennington. Thanks, Joe Namath. Good to know that, because of you, Chad’s autographs are not longer stuggggling.

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