Randy Couture Wants To Fight Steven Seagal? Yes Please.

Randy Couture hasn’t fought since he announced his retirement before losing to Lyoto Machida in the second round at UFC 129 in April 2011, but he’s done just fine since that sad day. For instance, did you know that Couture’s latest film, The Expendables 2, opens nationwide today? Some critics *points to self* are already calling it the greatest sequel in the history of motion pictures, and the only reason it’s not the best film ever is because it’s impossible to be better than The Expendables. But that’s a different story for a different day (that day being Monday when it is announced that Expendables 2 has already grossed $6 trillion billion zillion).

Now as Couture is out promoting the greatest sequel ever made, of course the question will be asked – will you ever fight again? And that’s a very stupid question, because of course the answer is no. Wait, what? The answer is yes?

“No, I think everything I set out to do, I managed to pull off, and it has been an amazing journey for 15 years,” Couture said when speaking to G4TV’s Attack of the Show on Wednesday.

“Not unless (Steven) Seagal wants to sign up,” Couture answered with a smile and a laugh. (Via MMA Weekly)

A lot of people think that the laugh implies that he was joking, that he wouldn’t actually fight Seagal. But I need to remind those people that it was Seagal that claimed to have taught Machida the front jump kick that ended Couture’s career, so maybe Couture secretly harbors a desire to get revenge on the greatest sensei in the history of mixed martial arts – you know, according to Seagal.

Then again, it’s not like there’s legitimate bad blood between Couture and Seagal, as if Seagal called him “a flaming tickle twat with the fists of 1,000 little girls”. Unless that would make Couture actually want to fight him, in which case I totally heard Seagal say that, bro.

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