If you’re going to sing about the demise of a rival player, take a lesson from Cincinnati Reds slugger Jonny Gomes, and make sure there aren’t any press nearby.
Gomes walked into the Cincinnati Reds spring training clubhouse early Wednesday morning singing at the top of his warbly voice.
The melody was not recognizable, but the words were plaintive: “Wainwright’s gone, Wainwright’s gone, Wainwright’s gone,” he sang joyously.
The reference was to St. Louis Cardinals starting pitcher Adam Wainwright, sent back to St. Louis Tuesday to have his ouchy elbow examined.
The word on Wainwright is that he might need Tommy John surgery, which would spell big trouble for the Cardinals’ chances of catching the Reds, who won the NL central last fall. That’s a good break for the Reds, but they’re gonna catch hell for this.
What was Gomes supposed to do? Aw, I really wish that St. Louis still had their best starting pitcher healthy so they could beat us in a few crucial games that might wind up knocking us out of the playoffs. Ask any jerkoff hippy sportswriter out there who doesn’t compete for his daily bread and he’ll tell you yes. As a Reds fan, I find it ridiculous to celebrate anything in February. Except Mardi Gras. Because, you know, boobs.