Soccer Player Booted For Being A Hero

Fewer things have worn out their welcome over the past decade than streakers at sporting events and terrible Borat impersonations. So when a fan dressed as Borat ran on the field during yesterday’s soccer football match between Dorchester and Havant & Waterlooville we reached a new low in idiotic fans. Security lollygagged as the fan ran circles around the field, so thankfully one of the players stepped up and dropped the fan like a sack of bangers and mash.
With the match tied at 1-1, Dorchester’s Ashley Vickers, who has a man’s name despite what my elementary and middle school classmates may have believed, did what the lazy security guards refused to do and chased the fan down, grabbed him by the arm and shoulder and threw his neon-bikini-wearing ass to the dirt. And while the crowd cheered and players from both teams seemingly defended Vickers’ actions, he received a red card and was ejected. Dorchester went on to lose 3-1.
As for Vickers, he couldn’t believe it, guvna…

‘A guy ran on to the pitch without any of the stewards getting near him and I thought I was doing them a favour,’ he explained.
‘The funny thing was the stewards actually thanked me for it, but the ref decided to send me off and it beggars belief.
‘Their players told the ref not to send me off and their chairman even offered to take a player off to even things up. The ref lost the game after that.’ (Via Metro UK)

He is completely right, except for his inclusion of the letter u in some words. We’ve witnessed people run on fields and courts and we’ve witnessed it become a danger to athletes and coaches. A psycho stabbed Monica Seles and a hillbilly father and son duo beat the crap out of a baseball coach. How can we possibly punish athletes for not only protecting themselves but for putting an end to one of the most idiotic fan traditions in sports?
With that, after the jump, I’m celebrating some of the sporting world’s greatest moments in idiot fans getting their asses kicked.


(Note to the uploader, this was clearly not a NFL game.)







Around The Web

The Death Of Andy Wood, The Birth Of Pearl Jam, And How ‘Grunge’ Ate Itself

By: 09.27.16

How Donald Trump’s Lust For Power Killed The USFL Before It Could Threaten The NFL

How David Bowie, Practical Magic, And An Army Of Fans Turned ‘Labyrinth’ Into A Transcendent Cult Film

By: 09.20.16

The Story Of Edward Snowden’s Rise To Cult Hero Status And How We Cast Angels And Demons

The Story Behind Gus Fring’s Stunningly Explosive Moment On ‘Breaking Bad’

Inside The Pearly Gates Of Bristol, Where A Wild Football Experiment Became Heaven On Earth

By: 09.12.16

One Street Artist’s Battle Against The Gentrification Identity Crisis

The Tale Of A Dashed TV Pilot Dream And What It Can Teach You About Life

How ‘Making A Murderer’ Fans Have Influenced The Search For Truth In The Teresa Halbach Murder

How The ’96 VMAs Cost Van Halen Their Chance At Being More Than ’80s Greats

‘Oh There You Are, Peter’: A Lost Boys’ Oral History Of ‘Hook’

The Birth, Death, And Possible Rebirth Of Hunter S. Thompson’s ‘Freak Power’ Movement

‘It’s All In The Reflexes’: The Story Of The Contentious ‘Big Trouble In Little China’ Screenplay

The Story Of One Father’s Incredible Odyssey To Become A U.S. Citizen

The Rise, Fall, And Redemption Of Marshall Henderson

The Story Behind Mr. Xtreme And The Real-Life Superhero Community

A Deeper Look Into How ‘The Last Dragon’ Became An ’80s Classic

The Story Behind ‘What About Bob?’: An Ensemble Masterpiece Disguised As A Bill Murray Vehicle