Shaq Has a Posse, Mobile Assault Team

Try not to make the same face Shaq is making when you read this next sentence: Seven gang members allegedly kidnapped, beat up and robbed a record industry scout who claimed to have security cam footage of Shaquille O’Neal having sex with women other than his wife. Well, okay. LAPD detectives interviewed Shaq to determine what, if any, involvement he had in the alleged crimes, and while Shaq wasn’t listed as a suspect the case file went to the District Attorney, it is pretty awesome to imagine Shaquille O’Neal at the head of a gang roundtable in some hotel ballroom, chewing out some random Crip for taking notes during a motherf**king criminal conspiracy.

The assault victim/blackmailer is Robert Ross, famous for “delivering Ray J” to Shaq and being “cut out of the deal”. Isn’t that just like life? You find out Brandy’s little brother is a sort-of poor man’s Usher, and the rapping basketball star won’t give you money for it? Wait, I’m sorry, that’s f**king nobody’s life.

More, courtesy of TMZ:

Ross told cops after his falling out, he threatened Shaq by telling him about the sex tape, threatening to release it unless Shaq paid up.

As for the tape, Ross claims Shaq brought women to Ross’ home and had sex with them while he was married to Shaunie. Ross told Shaq a “security camera” captured the action and it was all on tape. But Ross told cops the security camera recycles periodically and the video no longer exists.

And there’s another twist. Around the time Shaq and Ross had their falling out, Shaunie separated from Shaq and Ross claims he began having an affair with her. Ross claims Shaq hired a private investigator to tail Shaunie and the P.I. caught the two together.

So a guy gets his ass beaten for making threats he couldn’t back up to Shaq (if the security camera “recycles periodically” how long could you have had the Shaq sex tape, guy, was it an afternoon), then comes up with newer, different reasons why Shaq should still do what he says. Good job, Robert Ross. Next time you hit up a Pink Dot, make sure it isn’t full of Crips in Shaq jerseys.

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