Iowa's so cute. It's got all the corn and soybeans of Illinois, minus that big metropolitan center with all the fast cars and minorities. So when the state fair rolls around, you know it's time to register the domain name StuffFatWhitePeopleLike.com. Running from August 7th through yesterday, the fair featured plenty of funnel cakes, bad hair, and a statue homegrown Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson — sculpted from butter. I didn't ask, but I'm pretty sure sex with the statue is illegal.
Baltimore is already hard at work on a likeness of Michael Phelps, made entirely with crack rocks and broken dreams.