Sidney Crosby to Retire, Says Caps Fan Writing This

Bob McCown of the Fan590 in Toronto made waves on Friday when he reported he had heard Pittsburgh Penguins star Sidney Crosby’s family was trying to convince him to retire for fear of risking more injury.  As the adorable Crosby (pictured above) is not old enough to speak for himself, his Dad called ESPN to let them know this wasn’t true.

“Not at all,” Troy Crosby, from his Halifax, Nova Scotia, home, told ESPN. “We’re just trying to get him healthy again. However long that takes, that’s how long it’s going to take.”  Crosby then told his son Sidney to get down off the couch, following the command with “I’m not telling you again!”  He then began counting, causing the Penguins great to sit down and be quiet for fear of what would come after two.

Crosby’s agent Pat Brisson also refuted the report, adding “na na na boo boo” and urging the veteran radio host to “stick [his] head in doo-doo.”

The young star, who was driven to practice today in his Dad’s mini-van, was severely concussed back in January when professional hockey players dared touch him.  According to recent updates from the Penguins blogs I frequent, Crosby is actually totally fine, nothing happened to him in January, and he’s just been chilling at home drinking juice boxes and eating Lunchables from the last three months.

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