Today is the Marine Corps Birthday. Two hundred and thirty-one years ago today, our founding fathers realized there was a need for more ass-kicking, so the Continental Congress signed an act to create two battalions of Marines. Eight months later, America announced its independence. Coincidence? Fuck no.
Most of you are blissfully unaware of the Corps's inner workings and its great history, but that's going to end today. No words can describe how important this day is to Marines. All day long, Marines will greet each other with the phrase "Happy birthday," because all of us were born on the same day: 10 November 1775.
Stateside Marines have their dress blues pressed and ready to impress, as the Birthday Ball is a cherished ceremony that celebrates the Marines' history and traditions. And in Iraq, on Navy ships, and elsewhere around the globe, even forward-deployed Marines will take a few moments to cut a birthday cake and reflect on their service.
That's why all of today's posts will be brought to you by the Marine Corps. You're going to get your sports fix, but everything will be viewed through the prism of USMC lore. Example: Ditka versus a Marine — who wins? Answer: the taxpayers, because the 5.56mm bullet that tears through Ditka's chest from 500 yards only costs the government three cents.
Happy birthday, Marines. Everybody else, stick around. This is gonna be fun.