It’s officially October, so we can start doing Halloween stuff in good conscience. Agreed? Okay, cool, because here’s an MMA guy who belongs in the House Of Torment.
Jasmin Popara vs. Ranis Ali Smajlović at Slovenia’s Adrenaline Fighting Championships 6 event is … basically the bloodiest two-minute fight you’re ever going to witness. This guy could’ve been fighting The Ground in Slovenia’s Falling Off A Tall Building 6 and he would’ve ended the fight cleaner. Jasime Potpurri busts open his opponent early, and then, uh … let me explain it to you like this: imagine you were holding a watermelon between your legs. Imagine that you cut a small piece out of the top of it, then punched it and squeezed it as hard as possible Thighmaster-style for 60 seconds. That mess you made? That’s Ranis Ali Smajlović.
To put it another way, THIS is the picture I was originally gonna use at the top:
That can’t be sanitary.
Here’s a clip of the fight, which gets to the important part (the horrifying letting of blood) at around the 3:00 mark. Stay for the post-fight speech, which I haven’t been able to get through but I assume ends with Popara using telekinesis to murder his classmates.
[h/t to ME]