Manchester United midfielder Darren Fletcher was left bloody and unconscious when the door of a bathroom stall fell and hit him in the head after a game last week.
[A club insider said,] "I saw blood pouring out and the medical staff had to treat him there and then. I know he got stitches. He looked pretty dazed and pretty shocked. You don't expect a door to just fall on you."
Oh you don't, do you? That kind of lazy lack of awareness explains Britain's substantial decline in military might. Have I ever expected a bathroom door to fall on my head? Every time I drop anchor, friends. Some say I'm paranoid; I say the U.S. Marine Corps prepares you for anything life can throw at you. And guess what? I've never been hit in the head by a shoddily-made (probably British, pfft) bathroom door. U-S-A! U-S-A!