It’s the offseason for both the NFL and the English Premier League (or Barclay’s, whatever they’re calling it these days), but players in the respective leagues approach their vacations very differently. With the exception of the occasional Playboy Bunny party, NFL stars generally stay out of the limelight as they dodge the Eye of Sauron located high atop the commissioner’s office on Mount Doom.
In the Premiership, June and July is island vacation time, and it makes for awesome news, because the players are constantly surrounded by hot women in swimsuits. There was a period last summer where bikini photos of Nereida Gallardo powered the With Leather server.
Anyway, there won’t be any sagas like that this summer, but here’s a quick round-up of soccer stars and WAGs on vacation: (1) Coleen Rooney, who’s six months pregnant with Wayne Rooney’s spawn, is riding around in a jet ski. Grrr, pregnant chicks in bikinis! (2) Chelsea star Frank Lampard is looking at naked chicks in Vegas. And (3) most importantly, Abigail Clancy is wearing a bikini. Oh, and her 6-foot-7 wanker of a boyfriend, Peter Crouch, is with her. God, it’s so depressing when I see her with him. That should be ME, dammit! I just need to figure out a way to make 400 times as much money as I do now. Who wants pictures of my wang? Starting price is $15 million.