Protesters have gathered in Washington D.C., not because of the BP oil spill or the economy or the unemployment rate or war or health care or tea parties or bailouts, but because they have a problem with the English language. That problem? Words are too hard for people to learn. And, of course, to voice their displeasure, they picked the Super Bowl of child grammar prodigies – the 2010 Scripps National Spelling Bee.
Four – count them, 1-2-3-4 – protesters launched this assault of the English lexicon that quickly spread to at least a dozen people yesterday, as they are claiming that so many of our words contain letter combinations and sequences that make it too difficult for at least 40 percent of the population to properly learn them. Instead of the words that we all have learned since birth, the protesters would rather we adopt a new system that simplifies words by spelling them how they sound. The idea is so controversial that, when hearing of it, Akshay Buddiga fainted on the spot. *Holds hand up, waits for nerd high-five*
Can you please use douchebags in a sentence, MSNBC.com:
According to literature distributed by the group, it makes more sense for “fruit” to be spelled as “froot,” “slow” should be “slo,” and “heifer” — a word spelled correctly during the first oral round of the bee Thursday by Texas competitor Ramesh Ghanta — should be “hefer.”
Meanwhile, inside the hotel’s Independence Ballroom, 273 spellers celebrated the complexity of the language in all its glory, correctly spelling words like zaibatsu, vibrissae and biauriculate.
The group, pictured above, arrived wielding signs that read, “Enuf is Enuf Enough” and “All We Need is L-U-V” to prove their point that spelling like illiterates would somehow be better for our children. Meanwhile, Chinese children are laughing at this idea in 16 different languages.
Spelling aficionados aren’t taking this argument lightly, though, as one former Scripps contestant told MSNBC that this proposed change would mean the end of the spelling bee as we know it. Replied one of the protesters, “Kwit aktng lyk a litle bich.”