The Kentucky Derby is this weekend, which means that people around Louisville have already been getting drunk non-stop for the last two weeks. And tomorrow, when the first leg of horse racing's Triple Crown kicks off, a whole bunch of drunk chicks will put their tits on display, just because it's tradition. Bitchin'. And naturally, the stars will come out to absorb the spectacle:
Kevin Federline… and Tom Brady will join the Playboy Playmates at the Crown Royal Playboy Lounge on Derby Eve in Louisville.
Watch out, Playboy Bunnies, because here come the Western Hemisphere's most powerful inseminators. Hugh Hefner better invest in depleted-uranium shields for his girls' uteruses, or Playboy's going to become a pregnancy-fetish magazine. Which I would totally buy, but that's beside the point.
Anyway, for those of you not in Louisville who plan to watch the two-hour telecast for a two-minute horse race — i.e., degenerate gamblers — the race favorites are Street Sense (4-1) and Curlin (7-2), while the longest longshots are Sedgefield, Bwana Bull, and Imawildandcrazyguy, all at 50-1. And whoever owns Imawildandcrazyguy should get punched in the throat for that name.