02.01.10 8 years ago 2 Comments

This is just a general message to the internet in general: the spoof Tim Tebow ads that you have been pushing out over the last week have, for lack of a better word, sucked. STEP IT UP, INTERNET. I don’t want to start passing off clips from action flicks released in 2004 as MMA posts. Again. This ad up here isn’t bad; there’s plenty of swearing in it and the protagonist has a pretty fair twang, but IT’S A MINUTE LONG! WHO HAS THAT KIND OF TIME?! There’s not even a wire coat hanger to be found in it anywhere!

Do I have to do EVERYTHING on the internet? Here’s a little advice: STOP PLAYING UP THE CRAZY CHRISTIANS ANGLE. Crazy Christians are not funny. They’re SCARY. They’re the old man with the respirator in the back of the movie theater. I’m waiting for one of them to stab me in the neck with an elephant tusk, and then justifying my murder by CLAIMING IT WAS THE WILL OF JESUS! Does THAT sound funny to YOU?

I want a solid, funny 30-second Tebow takedown. Show some leadership, internet. Show some of those intangibles. You can still get better every day and put together a solid performance at week’s end, unlike, you know, that other guy. You’re officially on notice. Get to it.

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