@Storytime: Jason Hatcher Live-Blogs Being Stuck In An Elevator

By: 08.16.11

One of my greatest fears is dying in an elevator. I’ve been dreaming about dying in one since I was a little boy. My second greatest fear is having to see another movie “from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan”, so when Dallas Cowboys defensive end Jason Hatcher found himself trapped in an elevator I had two kinds of scary flashbacks — one, to the image of me falling, falling, and suddenly stopping forever. Two, The f**king Happening.
The good news is that Hatcher got out of the elevator without a lot of incident, so I can share the tweets here and make fun of him for coping with social media. The bad news is that at no point did Hatcher unexpectedly deliver a baby or have an unexpectedly born baby named after him. Those are literally the only good things that can happen to you while you’re trapped in an elevator.
Please click through and enjoy the short story, which ends up sounding a lot like an old episode of the Outer Limits.
[h/t Sportress of Blogitude]


It looks like just another day of football and meetings, until tragedy strikes. You never should’ve left those meetings.

#whitepeopleproblems

You’re going to use up precious oxygen if you keep shaking your head like that.

Is it Celine Dion?

It might be, they all have scary cat eyes.

smd claustrophobia

All your follower are happy for you, Jason. Next time, take the stairs.

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