“Suck For Luck” Power Rankings: Week 7

While a 2-win record is hardly something to be proud of through Week 7, it has become the first actual dividing line between the pretenders and contenders for this “Suck for Luck” sweepstakes. At this point in the season, there are two clear cut contenders, one terrible team that isn’t in the hunt but may benefit well beyond just a first pick, one surprisingly bad team that we didn’t think would be looking for a QB, and one team that just sucks but will probably win a few more.

We’ll get to naming those teams is a moment, but I wanted to first discuss the latest hot topic surrounding our beloved hero, Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck. The question has been raised plenty – would Luck stay another year if he didn’t like the teams that would be drafting him at No. 1?

As we discussed last week, the answer is, of course, no. He graduates at the end of the spring and would be insane to stay another season for the sake of another degree and pass up $50 million. The new question beyond that is – would he pull an Eli Manning and force a trade if he doesn’t like the team that drafts him at No. 1? At first I’d say the answer is also no, because he doesn’t have a father like Archie Manning to be a d*ck on his behalf, but then Luck’s father, Oliver, is the athletic director at West Virginia, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility that he would be involved in his son’s professional future.

After all, Luck was influenced to stay at Stanford this season by none other than Peyton Manning. That fact should make Dolphins fans a little more depressed today, but I still don’t think Miami is a city or team that any rookie turns down.

(Banner via 30 FPS)

"Ya big jerk."

1) Indianapolis Colts (0-7) – Nobody, including myself, is really mentioning the fact that Manning and Luck have a relationship already. Sure, it may have been a simple “Hey, go back to school, dummy” as they walked past each other, but that’s the kind of groundwork that makes for a nauseating storyline these next few months. I’m just more surprised that this isn’t a bigger storyline, which is why I should stop talking about it.

2) Miami Dolphins (0-6) – It would be typical Miami – for lack of a better term – luck if the Dolphins finally have a shot at a legit franchise QB, and they draft him No. 1 and he says, “Nah, I’m gonna need you to trade me.” I know, it’s a long way away and Indy’s 62-7 loss Sunday night seemed like a hell of a “Oh you think that’s a bad loss, Miami? Watch this!” statement. These two teams are going to really turn up the suck now.

Also, there’s a rumor that the South Florida ABC affiliate has made a request to air Stanford games for the rest of the season. Look at Miami rallying.

3) St. Louis Rams (0-6) – Whereas the Colts and Dolphins have asterisks next to their losses for how pure their intentions truly are, the Rams are just a miserable mess. They clearly don’t want to be in this position, otherwise they wouldn’t bother trading for Brandon Lloyd and bringing Mark Clayton off the PUP. Factor in the Cardinals blowing the World Series and we may need to put St. Louis on suicide watch.

4) Arizona Cardinals (1-5) – Kevin Kolb hasn’t been terrible and lord knows the Cardinals gave up enough to get him, but you have to think that Ken Whisenhunt is watching Stanford highlights and staring off into the distance, just wondering.

5) Minnesota Vikings (1-6) – Good news: Christian Ponder didn’t look horrible. Bad news: The Vikings still don’t have a legitimate receiving threat. *whispers* Justin Blackmon…

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