“Suck For Luck” Power Rankings: Week 8

Senior Writer
11.01.11 20 Comments

Sadly, not photoshopped.


Suck for Luck. It’s a pretty simple phrase, right? I mean, it shouldn’t take a team of rocket scientists to comprehend that Stanford QB Andrew Luck is the top QB prospect in college football right now and his name rhymes with suck. Therefore, “Suck for Luck” isn’t exactly unique and I certainly don’t take credit for coming up with the phrase, and this certainly isn’t the only site that posts a “Suck for Luck” power ranking each week. (We’ve just been posting this one longer than the others, so thanks for that.)

I bring this up because I read a humorous argument on the Twitters last week between people taking credit for the “Suck for Luck” campaign, with one person going as far as to claim he came up with it when Luck was a freshman. I won’t point any fingers because this is frivolous and these people don’t deserve the attention, but I just wanted to take a moment to remind people that fans of the Indianapolis Colts and the Miami Dolphins actually have a reason to remain involved with their seasons, no matter what Dwight Freeney and Karlos Dansby think about it.

Let’s not ruin that by being douchebags about taking credit for something that a 5-year old could have created. If we can all agree on that, let’s get on with this week’s suck.

(Banner image via Sharapova’s Thigh, additional images via Getty and AP.)

1) Indianapolis Colts (0-8) – This is what I think of your stupid Andrew Luck Colts jerseys and your white sunglasses!

(GIF via Gifulmination)

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2) Miami Dolphins (0-7) – If the Dolphins are trying to tank this season on purpose, they deserve a damn Academy Award for Best Team Trying to Make it Look Like it Wants to Win. It’s also only fitting that Reggie Bush had his best game of the season after he hooked back up with Kim Kardashian. That’s the extra ammo Miami needed. Also, I really loved this:

3) Arizona Cardinals (1-6) – While Kevin Kolb seems to be growing increasingly comfortable as a starter, the Cardinals have still supplanted the St. Louis Rams as the team most likely to wind up with the top pick only to trade it to the Dolphins for their whole draft.

4) St. Louis Rams (1-6) – Steven Jackson looked super pissed on Sunday, probably because his team was unbelievably winless, but I like to think it’s because Nick Punto was standing on the sidelines yelling, “I won a championship and didn’t have to do sh*t!”

5) Denver Broncos (2-5) – Prior to Sunday, my friend and I were discussing the Tebowing fad and we agreed that the Detroit Lions linemen had to do it the first time they sacked Tim Tebow. Boom.

Now that’s how you end an idiotic fad, friends.

6) Minnesota Vikings (2-6) – Percy Harvin was looking a little feisty against the Carolina Panthers, like he was built with two hearts. That’s good, because Donovan McNabb was built with none.

7) Seattle Seahawks (2-5) – At one point, Marshawn Lynch had something like 13 carries for -47 yards. I won’t rule out the Seahawks for a late season Luck run, but I’m close to putting them atop the LaMichael James list.

8) Jacksonville Jaguars (2-6) – “This Christmas, the Jacksonville Jaguars star in… The Curious Case of Blaine Gabbert, the story of a quarterback who seemingly sucks the more he plays.”

9) Carolina Panthers (2-6) – Still the only team on this list that can move up while losing.

10) Washington Redskins (3-4) – Remember, Redskins fans, secure your own life preserver first before helping other people.

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