Hulk Hogan, one of the people in the world I’m guessing you’d least like to see naked, is about to release a sex tape. According to the Hulkster it was a set-up, and by the time the video is released we’ll learn that not only did this mystery brunette set him up, she was paid-off to break his legs.
Hulk says the tape was “secretly filmed” without his permission — and now his lawyer’s on the rampage … claiming, “We will take all necessary steps to enforce both civil and criminal liability.”
Because Hulk Hogan has never told the truth once in his entire life, the tape is now in the hands of Vivid Entertainment, the same gentle folks who released ‘Backdoor To Chyna’.
Yesterday I shared with you a list of ten jokes to help you cope with the news, and thanks to the growing community of hilarious wrestling fans who read my Best And Worst Of WWE columns, here are ten more.
1. Burnsy: “Does he cut holes in the back of the condom wrapper to make it easier to tear open?”
2. mrejr8234: “Just when Hulk was gonna give the money shot he stopped and got dressed and told the lady she wasn’t ready to carry the load and finished himself off in the bathroom.”
3. TheRealMSol: “Turns out he has long blond pubes on the side of his dick, but the top is completely bald”
4. Homo_Erectus: “Does taking viagra and yelling “oh god, oh god, oh god” count as saying your prayers and taking your vitamins?”
5. brotz13: “When she kicks him out of bed, does she receive a booty call moments later from Mr. America?”
6. FunkyWarmMedina: “When he cums crashing down, does she hurt insiiiiide?”
7. PixelDrop: “Hope she was using a Bubba the Love Sponge.”
And now, a few jokes with hilarious video explanations.
8. Another from TheRealMSol: “It’s gonna be a Yappapi Indian strap-on match!”
9. Mighty914: “He finishes her with the finger poke of doom.”
10. The Next Steve Blackman: “*Hulk crashes through the bedroom door*
Hulk: AHHHHH *points at girl* IT’S NOT HOT”
The Giant attacks Hulk Hogan in the Dungeon of… by Stinger1981
That’s probably the funniest segment in wrestling history. It’s also probably got worse writing than the sex tape.
Feel free to add your own Hogan sex tape joke below. Chances are, we could do this daily until the video is released and never run out of material.