A 23-year old woman was arrested in Church Hill, Tennessee last night after she reportedly drove her car through a church’s doors under the orders of God, all for the sake of punishing her husband. Stephanie Hamman seemed to have been receiving mixed signals, because once she got into the church to handle her business, her tune changed and things became much darker. The woman called her husband, Steven, to let him know what she had done, and when he arrived at the church, she informed him that she had the devil inside her brain.
That’s when Stephanie stuck a kitchen knife into her husband’s chest because she believed that he had been worshipping the NASCAR race in Bristol. Don’t worry, the police report gets much crazier.
UPDATE: Images of the church and Stephanie’s mugshot are available here.
Mr. Hamman stated he went to check on his wife, and discovered she had driven her vehicle through the front doors of the church (moments later CHPD officers found that a vehicle had driven into the church causing damage and then fled the scene). Hamman stated he found his wife lying in front of the altar, and as he checked on her, she stated, “The devil is in me”, and stabbed him on the right side of his chest with a large kitchen knife (the knife used has been recovered by CHPD). Mr. Hamman stated he pulled the knife out of his chest and fled the scene. He went back to the apartment where he waited on police and EMS assistance.
Some dudes can just pulled a knife out of their chest, go home and wait it out. Me? My screams would have probably been heard in China. To each his own, I guess.
Mrs. Hamman stated she decided to live for God and got baptized at Providence Church this morning (a statement that has not been verified). She stated God had told her that smoking marijuana all day and all night was not good for her, and that she only needed to smoke it at night to help her relax. Mrs. Hamman further stated that she felt her husband Steven was worshipping the NASCAR race at Bristol, which made her mad, and she began having thoughts that the devil put in her head. Mrs. Hamman stated she wanted to take several things to the church this evening that would make her feel better, but she could not get in because the doors were locked. Mrs. Hamman stated, “So God told me He wanted me in there, so I drove my car through the front doors.” Mrs. Hamman stated the damage is trivial to anything that happened. “God told me to, so I did it.”
Responded God, “Whoa, I didn’t think she’d actually do it.
Mrs. Hamman also stated, “After I drove through the doors, I put all the things I brought to the church at the altar. I called Steven and told him I had wrecked. I laid down in front of the altar until he got there. The devil told me to take the kitchen knife with me. I prayed I would not have to use it on him, but I did.” Mrs. Hamman further stated, “When Steven came to check on me, I told him the devil was in me and I stabbed him in the heart. Have you heard if he is dead or not?”
I just had to break this paragraph up for a second to emphasize how much I love the next quote in the police report.
“I smoke a bunch of weed. I love to smoke it. Sometimes when I do, I start seeing things that others don’t. Isn’t God good? He told me that this would happen, and just look, I am okay.” Hamman also stated that her “relatives brought her to the hospital. I was riding with them to a party at the racetrack when they brought me here. I was outside digging in the mud when the devil told me I need to go there. I knew God would help me live right.” Byington placed Hamman under arrest at HVHMC and transported her to the HCSD jail. Hamman is charged with attempted first degree murder and felony vandalism.
Top notch work, Tennessee. That’s coming from a lifelong Florida resident.