Shane Warne is arguably one of the best bowlers in cricket history. At least, that's what his Wikipedia page says. Obviously I've never heard of him until now. The only cricket guy I know is the coach who died at the Cricket World Cup.
Warne's story is better than dying, but not much: following a separation from his wife, Simone Callahan, that was caused by several public scandals in which the noted womanizer sent other different women lewd text messages, the two decided to get back together last December. That lasted right up until the point he sent a text to his wife that was intended for his mistress.
As Callahan got the couple's three children ready for school in Melbourne, a text dropped into the inbox of her mobile phone, she told New Idea magazine. "Hey beautiful, I'm just talking to my kids, the back door's open," the message from Warne said.
He might have been able to play that off a little better if he hadn't been in London. I'm not a cartographer, but I'm pretty sure that's nine time zones away from Melbourne. That takes skill and effort. It's not easy to cheat on a woman three continents and an ocean away and still get caught. You've gotta be a special breed of retarded to do that. Like Down syndrome plus fetal alcohol syndrome retarded. Or as I like to call it, "your dad plus your mom."