THE AUSTRALIAN OPEN IS MILDLY SEXY

The cool thing about the early days of any big tennis tournament is that all the hot chicks haven't been knocked out yet.  In a week and a half we'll get something like a Serena Williams-Amelie Mauresmo final and I'd have a better chance of getting a boner at a WNBA game.

But for now, things are good: Maria Sharapova in traditional white, Jelena Jankovic and her sweaty boobs in the pink dress, Nicole Vaidisova in Reebok red, Ana Ivanovic slightly nipply in blue, Daniela Hantuchova's furry face framed with a pink visor, Maria Kirilenko in the mustard skirt, and Colonel Mustard in the kitchen with the candlestick.

Some people act all huffy about posts like this because female tennis players are often six feet tall or have huge arm muscles or look like men.  They get mad because they can't masturbate to the pictures, but that means they're just not trying hard enough.  Listen, if these don't work for you, either wait for the next post or tighten the belt around your neck.

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