The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 4/18

I wanted to save it for my first TNA iMPACT! review, but I might go ahead and call this week’s installment of the column the “Worst and Worst of WWE Raw.” There are a few things keeping me from enjoying the show, and they are

1. I was incapacitated last week with a viral infection of my intestines, which ended up basically poisoning me and putting me in the hospital for three days. I didn’t do a Best and Worst last week but I watched the show, and all I can really remember is morphine and an extremely white guy retiring.

2. I spent this weekend in Philadelphia at CHIKARA’s King of Trios tournament, which included (in one place or another) the Great Sasuke, Jinsei Shinzaki, Dick Togo, Manami Toyota, Akira Tozawa, Archibald Peck of “The Band” and a handful of guys from Osaka Pro, including a Japanese Spider-man. It’s hard to go from three days of amazing wrestling to two hours of unentertaining entertainment.

3. Raw is awful.

I’m sure next week will pick back up, but here we go. I apologize in advance.

Worst: England

Not the country. It’s just that whenever Raw starts off with big flags on the stage, you automatically know that you’re in for two hours of pointless water-treading. Nothing happens in England. Sure, if William Regal is around they might trot him out for the first time in eight months to win the Intercontinental Championship or something, and that’s always fun, but other than that you know Mark Henry is going to be competing against the current whoever version of Manu, and nothing is going to happen.

Sure enough, literally nothing happened on Raw last night. The Draft is next week, so coupling that with the big flags meant you might as well be watching an unusually terrible episode of Superstars. You know, I’m not 100% against the whole “entertainment” initiative, and if you’d rather “make a movie” or tell a story than wrestle a wrestling match, sure, go for it. The only thing I ask is that you make a good movie, or tell an interesting story, and that you won’t expect “R-Truth drinks water” to be thirty minutes long.

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