The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 4/4

The Best and Worst of Raw 4/4/11 offers up the best (meaning the highest quality to be found in a given activity or category of things) and worst (most faulty, unsatisfactory, or objectionable) of the April 4 edition of WWE Raw. Brandon Stroud is a syndicated advice columnist whose weekly column, The Best and Worst of Raw 4/4/11, is featured in over 250 newspapers nationwide.

A few notes as to why this column is featured on a sports comedy blog:

– The illusion of professional wrestling as a TV program is that it is presented as a loosely organized sport, classifying itself as “sports entertainment.” That makes it about as legitimate as professional boxing, baseball before the 1960s and that one Super Bowl where Kurt Warner totally fumbled on purpose.

– That being said, it is fun to write and talk about. Pretending it is real even when you know it isn’t is pro wrestling’s only bearable form. It’s not ignorance, it’s suspension of disbelief. Some people can do it and move the hell on with their lives, some can’t.

– Wrestling posts get 30 comments and lots of traffic and nobody but me and Buster Olney care about baseball.

Now, on to the fake fighting. Please stay tuned for several high-definition images of men in their underwear.

[images -> MGFanJay @ DVDR]

Best: Sin F’n Cara

Wrestling needs to be fun again. Somewhere between Samoa Joe’s descent into fat nothingness and a bunch of bloodless cage matches, televised wrestling stopped being fun. It became an ordeal, something to sit through, full of hairless, muscly guys with bad tribal tattoos with names like Chasyn Dance. There is a huge list of things that can turn pro graps on a dime and make it the funnest thing ever, and one of them is CRAZY IMPROMPTU LUCHA MADNESS.

That’s what we got in the debut of Sin Cara last night, the unbeatable combination of Mexico’s biggest draw, a trampoline, and Enigma’s “Sadness, Part 1.” Cara made his first appearance to stop (that damn bully~) Sheamus from assaulting Daniel Bryan after a United States Championship defense. He ran to the ring, hopped in over the top rope, hit a few exciting moves and topped it off with what the Spanish announcers called a SUPER PLANCHAAAA. Kids ran to the merchandise table and bought everything with Sin Cara’s name on it in size extra small. Sheamus got an exciting new opponent, Daniel Bryan got the best EWR fantasy tag team partner ever and I got a debuting superstar who is guaranteed to never use the phrases “you people” or “each and every one of you.” Because he doesn’t speak English. Score.

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