Best And Worst Of WWE Survivor Series 2012 By Dan 'Soupy' Campbell

By: 11.19.12  •  69 Comments
Ryback Ambrose Rollins Reigns

Pre-show editor’s notes:

– Brandon here. This is one of the cooler things I’ve gotten to do so far as the EIC (or COO, whatever) of With Leather. Soupy’s doing me a great favor by stepping in and covering the Best And Worst Of Survivor Series, so show him the most ever love so he’ll consider coming back.

– Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook. Follow Dan at @headabovewater and The Wonder Years at @twypoppunk . I put those links at the end because he’s already got a billion more followers than me.

– If you’re new here and just stopping by to read the guy from your favorite band’s wrestling column, consider stopping back by on Mondays and occasional Sundays for our open discussion threads, and on Tuesdays for the Best And Worst Of Raw. It got a shout-out at a TWY concert, so it is band-approved.

For further proof of street cred, here are two guys who dressed up as Daniel Bryan for Halloween:

Soupy Best And Worst Of Survivor Series WWE

– As always, your comments, shares, likes and whatevers are appreciated.

– Animated GIF and certain images courtesy of the lovely Casey. Everything else is from WWE.com. Please don’t sue.

All right, that’s it for me. Click through to enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE Survivor Series 2012 by the gracious Mr. Dan Campbell.

Page 2

Best:

Wanted to say thank you to Brandon for letting me do this. I won’t be as funny as he is and we don’t share all the same opinions but I’m incredibly excited to be a part of this. My band and I look forward to the blog every week and while we don’t comment, we read an appreciate everything everyone says. If you’re unfamiliar with who I am (and chances are that you are because why wouldn’t you be), my name is Dan. I sing in a band called The Wonder Years. We’re currently on tour with Yellowcard in the US and will be watching Survivor Series outside of the Boston House of Blues. I’ll be writing the report on a 12 hour overnight drive from Boston to Cleveland so it might be a little sleepy but I think it all makes sense. You can check us out here if you want: www.thewonderyearsband.com

Survivor Series

Best:

Unexpected matches with good, underused talent. I feel like they realized the card wasn’t quite full and just threw this on but I’ll take it. I think Tyson Kidd is f**king awesome. I don’t know why he yells “Yep!” when he does anything like that guy from Storage Wars (I assume its an homage) but the guy can wrestle. I’ve actually always liked Tensai to a degree too. I feel like all they had to do was give him the mic for ten minutes, let him say, “Yea, I was Albert. Then I went to Japan, reinvented myself, learned a new style and now I’m here to rip you all to pieces with my mountain dew mist and rib-breaking sentons.” Instead, they have Cole allude to it awkwardly and Tensai never gets any traction. I’m sure he’s making great money though if they paid him enough to leave Japan for it so I guess whatever.

Worst:

Rosa Mendez not leaving with Del Rio tonight. I like the idea of them together a lot. I really just want to start seeing payoffs to stories on the thing I’m paying $50 to see. Stop always saving it for Raw. People are going to stop giving you the money if they get the payoff the next day. Do it on the pay per view and then do one of those weird photo montages on Raw for the people that didn’t order. (Note: They really showed me later on in the show. Damn.)

Best:

Sin Cara doing something without his leg exploding. Last year at Survivor Series was such a bummer. The match itself wasn’t great and Sin Cara destroyed himself doing a pretty basic flip over the top rope. He looked way better this year. It doesn’t seem like he’s ever going to be the star they wanted him to be but he’s been improving and I’m interested in it.

Worst: F**k.

Brodus Clay Tensai suplex botch

That Brodus Clay/Tensai suplex “botch” or whatever was really sad. I feel like in a match where everything else looked pretty good, that was just upsetting. I thought Clay’s character had some chance to break out and grow when he started getting mad at Big Show this summer but then he just got dominated and now he’s stale and unexciting. I liked the idea of him as a dancing laughing guy until he gets mad and becomes an unstoppable machine. Instead, he’s more like a dancing laughing guy that gets mad and then is easily stopped by hitting him once or twice. What’s the point? Nevermind. The point is that kids get to dance in the ring. I actually appreciate that. Someone’s gotta dance with the kids.

Best:

Tyson Kidd doing the sharpshooter (about a million times better than the Rock) and everything that comes with it. Kidd needs a push.

Worst:

The seated senton that Rey does which I think is supposed to look cool and get everyone to say “ohh” and “ahh” but really just looks like a jumping dick to the face.

kaitlyn_eve_survivor_series

Best:

Kaitlyn is in jeans (kind of), which I think makes this a Chicago Street Fight.

Best:

Eve is pretty awesome. She’s improved a lot in the ring and she actually has a character with some depth and shades of gray. It’s cool to see. Her kicks looked legit, the triangle choke was awesome and she looked mean as shit when she was attacking and then smiley and disingenuous when pandering to the crowd. Kaitlyn isn’t bad either. It was the best Divas match I’ve seen in a long time. The only thing I really don’t like is Eve’s weak-looking finisher. She clearly has an arsenal of great looking MMA-holds. Why not let her tap her opponents out? You don’t get that a lot out of the Divas. Also, I hate myself more every time I type “Divas.”

Page 3

Best:

Cesaro is really snarky and it rules. I’m worried that it’s going over some people’s heads but I think at the end of the day, it boils down to “He’s from Germany or some shit like that and he doesn’t support the troops.” Plus, he has a European Carry-All so it seems like he’s still getting the heat he needs because REAL MEN DON’T WEAR PURSES.

Seinfeld purse

Worst:

I’ve never understood R-Truth’s character. I used to think he was supposed to be a schizophrenic homeless man but now he comes out in (assumedly) expensive custom jeans and shit so obviously they don’t intend on me viewing him as living on the streets. So, now I’m just confused. I guess he’s just crazy which would explain all of the terrible piercings and the necklace that I wore in 8th grade when I really like Sum 41, but I really feel like it’s wasted potential. Imagine the desperation of a legit crazy homeless man fighting for money to stay alive. That’s a dangerous dude that you should be very afraid of. Instead, it’s squandered and he’s just the guy that says whacky things, randomly dances and talks to an imaginary white kid for some reason.

Soupy in 8th grade

Best:

Cesaro beating Truth. I know Truth has fallen off a lot but he was main eventing last year’s Survivor Series with The Rock and Cena so Cesaro going over him just raises his stock and that’s awesome. I also love how hard JBL works to get guys over. I’m a fan.

Worst:

Satellite problems. We ordered Survivor Series to the RV we rented for this tour and the satellite cut out for a bit so I missed some of the AJ Vickie promo. Sorry.

Worst:

SHE MEANS BITCH! WHEN SHE SAID RYHMES WITH WITCH, SHE MEANS BITCH. DID YOU GET IT???

Best:

I did like the slobber knocker joke, though. JUDGE ME.

Best:

Cool hair, Vickie. Super excited for you to join The Cure.

Best:

Wait, does this mean there’s TWO programs happening in the Diva’s division? That’s… actually kind of cool. I’ve never been huge on Diva’s matches and the slow-motion rope running but I think AJ has a lot of talent and I think Tamina does too. I’m actually fairly excited to watch them work and to get an added dimension to the story about how two consenting adults maybe having sex is somehow a scandal and the older woman who slaps her employees 100% too often.

Best:

Heyman telling it like it is. Punk didn’t do anything wrong. He took the chances that were in front of him to win. He beat Cena almost every time they’ve met in the last year and a half. I know that he’s supposed to be the cowardly heel and take cheap wins but he’s kind of just doing his job. He’s supposed to win and he wins. He took a chance at a clean pin in the triple threat match. He kept his title on a draw because a draw goes to the champ and Brad Maddox wasn’t his fault. That guy (at least as far as we storyline know right now) operated on his own free will. Also, every time Heyman gets on the mic it’s gold. I sincerely hope we see him as GM of Raw again soon and I hope his first order of business is firing Teddy Long.

Page 4

Worst:

I f**king hate the Sheamus chest punch thing. I always feel like it’s going to shoot stop someone’s heart someday. I watch wrestling because people get fake hurt. It looks cool as shit but I don’t have to feel bad about myself for enjoying watching the suffering of others. That’s why I can’t do MMA much. Every match I’ve seen is two guys laying on each other until one of them punches the other one in the side of the head enough to knock him out. It doesn’t look cool and it’s actually f**king someone up. I know people get hurt in wrestling too but the point is generally to avoid serious damage and I really don’t want to watch someone die because Sheamus needs five signature moves and one of them is the heart-stopping rope punch that probably has some shitty Irish pun name.

Best:

Like I said, I love when it looks real. Big Show was really dull to watch for a while but man, these last two matches with Sheamus he has really put it down. He legit looks like he’s crushing Sheamus’ bones into dust that I assume he’ll later imbibe, because, you know, giant jokes.

Best:

Big Show is doing some classic heel shit. Pulling the ref in the way rules and so does bullying the ref and calling him a dumbass. It makes the win look cheap but doesn’t make Show look like weak. An added best for JBL making the most sense of anyone and making the totally logical point that you should NEVER stop until the bell rings. That’s sports 101 (I assume. I was an education major.), and should always be abided by. I think With Leather recently posted a video of a pee-wee football game where some kids didn’t pay attention to the whistle and now an entire team of youngsters are going to have war-time flash backs to the day when their fathers stopped being proud of them.

Worst:

I thought that was a heel turn. Sheamus beats Big Show mercilessly with a chair until he cant get up. Big Show is writhing in pain and shamefully asks for the beating to stop. Sheamus demands Big Show beg for mercy and then when he obliges, Sheamus kicks his f**king head off. THAT’S A HEEL TURN. WHY ARE YOU (people) STILL CHEERING? When Brett Hart held a bloody Austin in the sharpshooter until he passed out, Austin came out the hero, Hart came out looking like an asshole. All he did was beat on Austin after the bell a bit. Sheamus attacked Big Show and then laughed at his request for mercy and hit him anyway. That’s what super villains do, not the guys you’re supposed to cheer. This is really confusing me. Del Rio I get. Wrestling fans are racist. Del Rio is Mexican. Whoever is beating up Del Rio is the face. Wrong or right (It’s wrong. Very, very wrong), I understand why it’s happening. This has me legit stumped. I swear I heard someone in the crowd scream “cripple him.” What the f**k did Big Show do to you, guy?

Worst:

Big Show’s sell. I didn’t hate all of it but first he’s (I assume) trying to do the Ziggler flopping dead fish thing, but it doesn’t work because Big Show’s 450 goddamn pounds and trains with a dude named Dodd (note: Not Todd) that rides a bike that works like an elliptical machine. He’s in no condition to do a Ziggles-style sell. Then, we cut away and the announce team says whatever to recap and set up the rest of the show. The camera cuts back to presumably start the next match and JESUS CHRIST is Big Show is STILL on the ground crawling up the ramp? Doesn’t WWE have a medical staff? They were putting Brad Maddox on a stretcher before the crowd had a chance to chant “Feed Me More” for the 157th time that night, and that dude doesn’t even work there. You just signed Big Show to an “Iron Clad” big money contract. Maybe help him up off the f**king ramp within five minutes of him getting assaulted.

Best:

Vortex Commercials! From what I can gather, it’s a kid’s show where power rangers and Iron Man watch people do kickflips. It appears to have no plot and be mostly quick splices of Kofi Kingston jumping and flashing lights; perfect for a generation pre-disposed to Adderall reliance and the vast emptiness of the human condition. Also, did you see how high he jumped! Goddamn that was awes… Oh, Power Rangers!

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