The New Owner Of The Clippers Wants Players To Ditch The Apple Products Because He’s ‘MICROSOFT 4 LYFE’

By all accounts Steve Ballmer’s finally in charge of the Los Angeles Clippers. After months of back and forth with the NBA’s most dysfunctional couple, Donald and Shelly Sterling, Ballmer’s ready to start his tenure. His first order of business is ridding the organization of iPads, iPhones and every evil thing Apple has created. After all, Ballmer is MICROSOFT 4 LYFE having been the CEO from 2000 until his resignation just a few short months ago. He’s still the largest owner of Microsoft stock with $15.7 billion in shares.

It should come as no surprise, then, that the Clippers will be a Microsoft organization. The son of a Ford Motor Co manager, he’s always been a company and product loyalist, banning his own family from using Apple’s iPhones.

“Most of the Clippers on are Windows, some of the players and coaches are not,” Ballmer said.

“And Doc kind of knows that’s a project. It’s one of the first things he said to me: ‘We are probably going to get rid of these iPads, aren’t we?’ And I said, ‘Yeah, we probably are.’ But I promised we would do it during the off season.”

So the Clippers went from hating black people to hating Apple products. We’re finally making progress America. #BendGhazi’s slowly bringing us together as a nation.

[Reuters]

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