The Super Bowl Ads Are Gonna Suck

Hollywood studios have set a record for Super Bowl XLV as commercial time has been purchased for 13 movies, up considerably from the 8 movies that were advertised last year. Fox actually filled all of its commercial space back in October, with ads going for as much as $3 million. Studios like Warner Bros. and 20th Century Fox won’t be advertising during the Super Bowl because they think it’s stupid and a waste of money, but not Sony. Nope, those jerks are going to cram Just Go With It down our fat, drunken throats.

Among the movies that will be repeatedly thrown at us are Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon, Thor, Captain America, Battle: Los Angeles, Cowboys and Aliens and Pirates of the Caribbean: Holy Crap They Made Another One. And while I’m admittedly geeked to see more Thor and Captain America spots, my mute button is ready.

Give us the skinny and a mocha trenta latte with soy, Variety

Among the marketers, 20 of the ads were bought by automakers, the most ever — Mercedes-Benz is making its Super Bowl debut, while Audi, BMW, Kia, Hyundai, Volkswagen, Chrysler and GM’s Chevrolet are returning. Best Buy is also a first-timer.

Last year’s event featured 104 commercials that added up to 47 minutes and 50 seconds of airtime, up from 82 spots, or 40 minutes and 15 seconds, in 2001, according to Kantar Media. In a typical Super Bowl, 15%-20% of all commercial time is a plug by the network for its own programming, the research firm said.

But don’t worry, Fox is making up for the endless whoring with a new episode of “Glee” after the Super Bowl. I hope they dedicate the show to Black Eyed Peas songs in honor of the super hip halftime show!

Obviously I’m not surprised by any of this so my complaints should be hushed, but have you seen the trailer for Just Go With It? Not even Brooklyn Decker’s rack can get me to see this disaster.

Subscribe to UPROXX

And if you’re curious, and I know the ladies are, here are some of the commercial highlights from the past four Super Bowls…

Page 2

2010

Around The Web

Featured

How Learning To Play ‘Magic: The Gathering’ Changed My Life

When The Donald Trump Circus Comes To Your Small Town

25 Years Of ‘What About Bob?,’ An Ensemble Masterpiece Disguised As A Bill Murray Vehicle

‘Potato Chip’: The Behind-The-Scenes Story Of The Weirdest ‘SNL’ Sketch Ever

A Beginning Filmmaker’s Guide To Traveling The World Via Film Festivals

Sailing Across An Ocean Will Change Your Life — Here’s What To Know Before You Go

This 28-Year-Old Master Craftsman Has A Knack For Carving Out Works Of Art

By: 05.11.16

Meat Pies And Pubs: Experiencing The Insanity Of A Premier League Match

You’ll Tell Your Grandkids About Steph Curry’s Historic And Unforgettable Performance In Game 4

The Story Of Frybread — From Cheap Staple To Cultural Touchstone

A Fact-Soaked Odyssey Through Kentucky’s Bourbon Country

This Woman Is Fighting The Stigma Of Sex Work In America In Hopes Of Getting Her Child Back