The White Sox tried to break out of their slump by placing blow-up dolls in their clubhouse on Sunday, and boy did it work out great: they lost the final two games in Toronto as the Blue Jays completed a four-game sweep in which the Sox managed just 16 hits and got shut out twice.
On Sunday, the bats were circled around the two naked female dolls, one of whom had a bat inserted in its backside to prop it up. [Yes… to "prop it up" -Ed.] Each wore a sign over her breasts, one saying "Let's Go White Sox" and the other reading "You've Got to Push," the National Post in Toronto reported.
Okay, so not really classy, but about what you'd expect from a team managed by Ozzie Guillen. But wait — if this happened in the clubhouse, why is it news? Well, if you had "overly sensitive activist group" in your office douche pool, collect your prize.
One group not amused by the prank was the Association for Women in Sports Media, whose members work toward ensuring a non-threatening work environment for all women in sports media. "The presence of those dolls creates an uncomfortable situation for any female journalist who enters the White Sox locker room simply trying to do her job," said Jenni Carlson, the group's president, in an e-mail.
Just like a bunch of feminists to bitch about everything. "Don't make a threatening work environment." "Don't intimidate us." "Don't wave your genitalia at us." "Don't depict us as being anally violated with baseball bats." Sheesh, and they wonder why they're still single.
Investigatey UPDATE: Thanks to commenters HHY and Cock Flashy, who note that Jenni Carlson is the same woeful journalist who was the target of Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy's epic rant. Her complaint against the White Sox is obviously the work of someone who is NOT A MOTHER who's never had their child's HEART BROKEN when a BLOW-UP DOLL DIDN'T BREAK A SLUMP!!!