Well, hello friends. Welcome back to this week’s running series of the actual, honest to Jesus Twitter accounts that you should be following. This isn’t butt-kissing with buzz words, as much as it’s our tight-knit little family trying to help make your social media experience more fulfilling. So far, my good friends Bobby Big Wheel and Danger Guerrero have filled you in on the Twitter accounts that mean so much to them, and now I’m going to school you on the Playboy Playmates that I’d like watch golf with.
I’m a huge golf fan, and I love playing. I also love Playboy. In fact, on a few occasions, I’ve contemplated entering one of the Playboy Golf events and putting on a little exhibition with my Sasquatch for the ladies. But the problem is that I suck at golf, and I’d just end up embarrassing myself. So I figured the solution to that is that I’d just watch golf with some Playmates and wow them with my knowledge, because chances are they don’t like golf, and they’d be like, “Wow, Burnsy, you’re like the king of golf.”
So here, in no particular order, are 25 Playboy Playmates and models that are fun to follow on Twitter and are now invited to come watch golf with me.
1) Ciara Price
We already know that she likes hockey, and now there’s no hockey, so she has free time and golf is more exciting than hockey, so it works out well.
2) Heather Knox
I don’t really know anything about Heather, so I could tell her about how awesome it used to be to watch Tiger dominate and she could tell me about what it’s like being painfully attractive.
You know what? I don’t really know anything about the rest of these Playmates, so I’m just going to look at pictures of them while I make a list of golf questions that I would ask them.
4) Pilar Lastra
Do you believe that the belly putter should be outlawed in the PGA?
5) Ashley Hobbs
Do you miss Payne Stewart and his socks? I sure do.
6) Nikki Leigh
What is the difference between a hook and a slice? Haha, I don’t know either!
Do you dislike Ernie Els more than Sergio Garcia? I don’t, I dislike them equally.
Do you think that “Fat Boy Phil” is a mean nickname?
9) Amanda Cerny
Which course would you like to play the most? I’d rather play St. Andrews than Augusta.
She’s included because she’s my fellow UCFer. I met her once and I was really sweaty, so she probably doesn’t remember me.
Do you like Rickie Fowler’s outfits? I do, but not his hair.
12) Sasha Bonilova
Do they have golf where you’re from? If so, who are some golfers from your country?
13) Iryna Ivanova
Same question, please.
14) Kyra Milan
What’s your favorite golf movie? A lot of people would probably say Caddyshack, but I think mine is Tin Cup. I hope you don’t say The Legend of Bagger Vance.
15) Amber Campisi
Have you ever used a hybrid club? I just bought one and I can hit it pretty well, but I still need some practice.
16) Alana Campos
Do you think Bubba Watson’s pink driver is too girly? I think it’s kind of cool.
17) Zimra Guerts
Have you ever drank Zima and then yelled, “Hey everyone, Zimra is drinking Zima?”
18) Shelby Chesnes
I think the LPGA is sorely lacking a superstar that can attract the male audience. What are your thoughts?
19) Jessa Hinton
How much do you think Jon Daly can drink? I think it’s so much.
20) Laura Croft
Like the video game, right? Has anyone ever said that to you or just me?
Who is your favorite up-and-coming golfer? Mine is Harris English.
22) Jaime Edmondson
Does Evan Longoria wear fedoras a lot or was that just a phase?
23) Brande Roderick
I’d ask Brande about how she’s managed to age so well, because I’m impressed.
24) Claire Sinclair
Can you believe that Natalie Gulbis and Ben Roethlisberger dated?
25) Holly Madison
I almost left her off because she got pregnant with a club promoter. So I’d ask, “A club promoter? Seriously?”