The FIFA Women's World Cup has been going on in China for, like, the last week or something, and I'm honestly surprised that I haven't written anything about it before now. Basically all that's been going on is a bunch of athletic American women running around in white jerseys in the middle of a downpour. The American gringas advanced to the quarterfinals by winning Group B, managing a 2-2 tie to North Korea before beating Sweden 2-0 and Nigeria 1-0 (rain-soaked video here).
Up next for the Americans will be fellow English-speakers England, so warm up your bad teeth jokes and practice saying "Freshen ya drink, guvna?" in your most annoying Cockney accent. The two nations will do battle on Saturday morning, while you rest peacefully in a puddle of your own vomit.
Pictured here is Hope Solo (be her MySpace friend!), who like me is from the Pacific Northwest, a goalkeeper, and easy on the eyes. Her name is way fuckin radder than mine, however. It's basically the equivalent of being called Duke Skywalker or Garth Vader. Stupid English ancestry.