They Are Who We Thought They Were: The Best Sports Moments Of 2010

While the entirety of the mainstream media began releasing Best Of lists in the first week of December, I wanted to wait as long as I possibly could to create my own, because of, you know, all of the games that take place throughout December. But who cares about college football anyway, right? Screw the bowl games and their rightful observation for prestigious consideration. And I was right to wait, because I originally had UConn’s winning streak in my Top 10 – I was trying to impress a girl – and now? *fart noise* Better luck next 90-game winning streak, Lady Huskies!

We had our fair share of great stories in 2010, those that made us feel good and appreciate the positive nature of competition on the grander scale. But screw all that, right? Our culture loves to witness failure and hoo boy did we have some failure this year! We had so many head-scratchers and stomach punches that there are certain athletes who could get their very own Top 10 lists. But they don’t deserve it. Hell, there are a few guys on the list you’re about to read that I wish we never had to talk about again.

I heartily expect everyone to disagree with my choices and where they rank, and that’s why I love sports and Top 10 lists – they both inspire the most nonsensical arguing outside of politics. As always, please share your thoughts, criticisms and misguided hatred for your parents in the comments.

With that said, here are my Top 10 sports moments of 2010…

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"This one is for the forces of pure evil."

First off, the Honorable Mentions… My apologies in advance to soccer, hockey and women, but I’m the average American male, so my list should be pretty obvious. Anywho, half-assed apologies aside, here are your certificates of participation, in no specific order:

The Giants Win! The Giants Win! – The San Francisco Giants won the World Series for the first time since they were the New York Giants. Your move, Chicago Cubs. Seriously, leave Chicago.

Sexy Rexy – Not the New York Jets, just Rex Ryan – the coach, the man, the alleged foot fetishist. He stole the show on Hard Knocks with his G*d-damned snacks, and if Mark Sanchez can channel his early season self, this team could win it all, which would be incredibly entertaining.

Manny Pacquiao Is A Stud – 8 titles in 8 weight classes is a serious career feat. Too bad he and Floyd Mayweather will never shut up and fight.

Urban Meyer Retires Again – Maybe it was health, or maybe it was the realization of no Tebow, no hope. I hear the Denver Broncos are hiring.

Kobe’s Newest Dynasty – The Lakers win again and they top next year’s list without question and with an apology. Too bad he and Phil Jackson can’t get along. Suddenly Ron Artest is a voice of reason.

The Phuture Of The Phillies – Cliff Lee spurned the New York Yankees and the Texas Rangers to pitch again for the Philadelphia Phillies. He joins Roy Halladay, Roy Oswalt and Cole Hamels to make a decent rotation. Just for giggles they should sign a golden retriever for the 5 spot.

Jimmie Johnson Wins Again – Someone won for driving in circles, other people complained.

Who The Hell Is Ines Sainz? – The TV Azteca reporter’s claims that she was sexually harassed at a New York Jets practice were stupid. Mainly because she has a butter face.

Chris Berman Gets A Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star – Someone had to pay $25,000 for it, but hey, who’s counting?

Duke’s Return To Glory – The Blue Devils won a rather uninspiring National Championship, stealing the spotlight from Cinderella Butler. But it still counts.

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