This Grown Bro Dressed As Iron Man Is The Baseball Fan No Team Deserves

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04.21.14 6 Comments

“Babe! Babe? You seen my Iron Man costume? I can’t find where I left the top, and I can’t wear the pants without the top, because I’ll look like a dick. Seriously, the whole point of buying this costume was to wear it when we got your boss’s first row tickets for the Tigers game, and I want to look awesome when I’m talkin’ sh* t to all those p*ssy baseball players. Remember how your sister said she thinks Mike Trout is hot? I’m gonna show that dude what’s up. He’s never seen trash talkin’ like this before, babe. Yo, make sure you fill a Ziploc bag with Jager, babe. Don’t forget like last time. Seriously, where the f*ck is my Iron Man costume? I NEED MY COSTUME! Oh snap, here it is. Babe, why was my Iron Man costume stuffed behind the fridge? Now it’s all wrinkled. Whatever, I’ll still look jacked. F*ckin’ Mike Trout, what a p*ssy.”

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Ashley Burns has written about movies, TV, and sports for UPROXX since the site's first day.

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