12.15.09 8 years ago 8 Comments

This is a 48-year-old Somali man that’s about to be stoned to death for adultery. And if you thought the level of indignation for Tiger Woods was bad over here, it would have been even worse in a country overrun with religious insurgents like Somalia. And the Hizbul Islam guerrillas are just a bit tougher to impress than the Florida Highway Patrol. They’ve banned movies, dancing, and even soccer. They’re just like John Lithgow’s character from Footloose mashed with John Lithgow’s character from “Dexter.” But with guns and stuff. But this guy didn’t have to crash his Cadillac to get caught; that’s just another reason to hate Somalia if you ask me.

But Tiger himself? His biggest sponsor, Nike, is standing by their guy, and despite all of Tiger Woods’ other sponsors lessening his image in their promotional campaigns, no one besides Accenture has dropped him. But Nike’s CEO is more like John Lithgow’s character from “3rd Rock From The Sun,” only he’s not doing Jane Curtain. Haha, “curtain.” –ANIMAL, via NYTimes.

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